Estate agent fee

The ultimate Estate Agent dictionary

The ultimate Estate Agent dictionary for property descriptions

Estate Agents are often criticized for their “creative” descriptions of properties. We found on BBC News Online this ultimate Estate Agent dictionary, which helps agents getting back on the straight and narrow (or deceptively bendy and wide, if you prefer…).

Have a look and be ready to review your descriptions accordingly:

Benefits From: Contains a feature you may expect to be the bare minimum for the extraordinary price you are paying.
Example: “Benefits from roof, floors, walls”.

Bijou: Would suit contortionist with growth hormone deficiency.

Borders: Loose term signifying that a property is sufficiently close to a desirable area to ensure the burglars who live next door to you will travel to work.
Example: “Fidel Castro’s house is situated in the highly desirable Bahamas Borders area”.

Charming: Pokey.

Characterful: A neat disguise for old and falling down.

Compact: See Bijou, then divide by two.

Convenient For: A deceptive term with two possible definitions depending on the object of the phrase:
Eg “Convenient For A40″ means your garden doubles as the hard shoulder
Whereas “Convenient For local amenities” means you can run to the shops. If you are Paula Radcliffe.

Four bedrooms: Three bedrooms and a cupboard.

In Need of Modernisation: In need of demolition.

Mature Garden: The local AZ marks your garden as Terra Incognita.

Internal Viewing Recommended:Looks awful on the outside.

Original Features:Water tank still contains cholera bacterium.

Priced to Sell: Please, oh go on please…

Studio: You can wash the dishes, watch the telly, and answer the front door without getting up from the toilet.

(From BBC News Online, 11.11.2002)

Do you have others definitions to share?

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